devoteHER

08 January 2008 @ 08:42 pm

ooookkkkaaaaaayyy...

as most of you know..i am NEVER on this.

so i simply decided to set a goal of making actual use of this here account.
so YES..i will be posting frequently.

promise.

ok so shall we begin ??

sooooo school.
..school is GREAT.i suppose you can say i really..really enjoy learning.(yeah yeah yeah,kinda nerd'ish).
so-fucking what !
but yessah,i can honestly and proudly say that i am KICKING ASS in school. majorly.
i just signed up for the SATs..~~exciting~~ right? eh NO.
more like stressful.
but watev..ill make sure i kick ass in that too ! lol.

the wife and i are..
FUCKING AMAZING !!!!!!!!!!!! basically. lol.

8 months..soon to be 9 on the 29th. yess ! we keep track. ~~corny~~ so what ! haha.
so her bday is coming up.i have a plan in mind..but i could use some suggestions if any of you have any.
she'll be turning an old ass 22. lmao.
but yess...
we're doing wonderfully.

i thought id leave you guys with a cheesey pic of us.
(taken by my dear friend Tor hiprockkidd ).

i guess thas all for now whores. lmao.
=P

_later.

Current Mood:

bouncy

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03 September 2007 @ 02:30 pm

what a process.

three months and twenty-one days, and ive become so deeply in love. or so i think its our relationship that has flown mi above cloud nine, into our own atmosphere. or was it the random nights where i lay bored, wondering what ever happened to my friend Melody.

can it possibly be the times i wished it was i who she went out to eat with, instead of some girl she thought was cute. the nights i stayed up late, restless, wanting to talk to her until morning rose. days where she told stories about her past, and the pain she had endured, me thinking to myself that i could give her so much more. knowing i have so much more to offer such a beautiful woman.

days where honestly, i thought about her. while other days i tried to convince myself i had no feelings for her, and that she simply was just a friend of mine.the day she called me for the first time in almost a year, me smiling uncontrolably on the other end. i had thought she forgot about mi. for i definitely hadnt forgoten about her.

the hours we spent every day on the phone. the day i allowed myself to fall for her, the same day i took my feelings for her into realization. that night we both gave into ourselves, taking our freindship to an excelling level. its taken a simple friendship of almost two years to have us where we stand now.

all this has placed us next to eachother, nights where we lay, staring into one another's gaze, gentley and passionately kissing eachother's lips. where nights in my past i would have never thought of her being apart of my future, yet she has become my future. our nights on the phone have developed into nights we hold eachother tightly, crying, squeezing tears out of one another.

she has taught mi aspects of myself that i never knew existed. emotions i never believed to feel. tears i refused to shed, love i denied to give and receive. the way she makes mi feel......literally i become speechless. this world will never compose enough paper and ink, yet alone hold enough oxygen for mi to completely explain my absolute love and commitment to her.

she is strength..

she is life..

she is love.

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30 July 2007 @ 04:14 pm

just attempting...

clearing my mind of what webs cluttered it shut..allowing what "writer" is left within me out..out to breathe..able to live again.alive..alive is what i am..yes i am alive.the first time i control what strokes are made across the paper.the first time since,then.then of what is no longer spkoken of,nor thought of.

i write,i write without looking back,slowly dragging,stretching every thought out.my words are confusing,yet problematic.making no sense at all.i guess this is what happens when you're happy.....

no longer able to explain,but to feel.something i never knew about,or something i thought i did until now..yes,now..now i know.

i know what happiness is.
i know what a smile is.

to smile from inside..my smile upon my face,yet never close enough to how dazzling my heart stretches from my ribcage to my kidnies..down into my stomach where fire crackers explode into my small intestine,the sparks reflecting off each internal organ..the sparks dull compared to the glow,the astounding gleam of MELODY written permately across my heart..

for you have replaced each cutting emotion with a vast amount of love.
unexpectedly coming toegether,

to prove ourselves,
to prove everyone,
that we..
yes we..

we are LOVE.

[ 10:35 pm. July 28,2007 ]
1hr. 25 mins. til July 29th.

3 months.

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10 July 2007 @ 11:53 am

the pen lost the paper.

i remeber my days in distress..any writing utencil was permanately attached to my fingers and hand's grip..
constantly talking to several flat surfaces..sharing the sad and depressing stories of my past and current life.

but now..in my present day..
i no longer write.

i feel..now that i spare no hurtful emotions..i feel no pain..ive run wordless.
i now drop the pen..or crumble my paper..no longer "one" with my ability to spill out every emotion.

so i wonder to myself..

was my pain the key aspect of me being a strong writer.??
do i need to be stressed or confused inorder to write a simple poem.??
now that im happy..am i no longer a writer.???

every piece i wrote..was rather dark..n sad..
in exception to one or two pieces..
and now that i live in one of my most beautiful moments in time..i lost the writer in me.
as it feels so..

so i ask you..

what makes a strong writer.??

Tags: wordless

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